Lessons Learned Before 25

Yesterday I hit a huge milestone: ... I crossed over into the 25 and up club. Normally when I have a birthday my new age doesn't hit me until I've settled into it for maybe a month. This time it hit me like New York was hit with reality when being dumped by Flavor Flav.

The months before my birthday have been filled with struggle, trials, adjustments, re-evaluations, fastings, and seeking God for my purpose on this Earth. None of those really put me in a celebrating mood. It's amazing how a dry spot can take away your enthusiam. My goal was to not do anything. It really made me sit back and analyze the day and the people I had in my life. It also taught me a lot:

1) Close friends accept you for who you are. Very true fact but not all. Close friends do not treat your relationship as one way. They don't just call when they need to talk or when 'it's time' to catch up with you. I see that the people who are around me should always be a reflection of who I am because I am who my friends are. I'm on a mission and anyone who isn't helping me go there spiritually (you aren't just talking you are walking and equally yoked), mentally (encouragement but not ordering my steps or what you think I should be doing), and emotionally (you should support emotional strength). Ok I know that's a ramble.

2) I do not want to get married right now but I am preparing to. The Lord is helping me to control my finances; I don't want to be a burden to my Man of God and everything he makes is subject to Prada. I am learning how to keep a house. Now I keep myself clean but my room days otherwise. There needs to be consistency. I'm also working on my apperance. Looking fly all the time. It's work but whenever I get married, when I look good he looks good.

3) God showed me my purpose and I know I told too many people or people who when you tell them something wanna map out your life for you or offer up unsolicited direction. Now that's good sometimes; but, when hearing from the Lord He needs to be the direction that I follow and His map I need to read. I'm learning to keep my mouth shut. Everyone doesn't need to know what I'm doing all the time.

4) Life is short I need to do me! It's not about keeping others happy, being a people pleaser, and making sure I am everything in people's eyes. Even though that all is a part of walking in love I need to love the Lord first of all and then fall back in love with myself. Find me all over again and romance myself.

5) Fitness is key! Now I've always been somewhat skinny and really didn't have to work too hard to have the body type, tone, and shape I wanted but .... Now, I have to work harder for it. No more eating what I want and not working out. It's a neccessity that I take care of my physical health as well as my spiritual, mental and emotional health.

Now these are just a few things that I have learned prior to the big 2-5 but there was so much more. I'm very excited for this new start, new phase, and new year to really be me and to grow into more of my full potential!

Closer

I feel I am getting closer and closer to finding out what I'm truly supposed to do.  I'm getting more and more excited as I pray in the spirit each and every day.  I turn 25 in 10 days . . . big moment ::everybody take a moment and breathe::  I am really learning and growing right now spending time in the Lord.  Though today . . .  or yesterday . . . I was willingly kidnapped by my good friend Brando.

He kidnapped me to Ann Arbor to watch New Moon and Lost.  We went through all of season 5.  I guess needed a break.

I really thank God for my friend Gia.  She has given me genuine love.  Love like how God gives.  True friendship and encouragement and has helped me go through this process.

I'm getting closer! Closer to 25 and closer to the purpose that God has given me. :-)

Updates

Ok I'm going to delete that other blog I started and just chill with this one for now.  I can barely keep this one up to date so no sense in overwhelming myself with another.

Updates are: I left my job! So happy about that! One of the best decisions I ever made.  I am now going to get in touch with me and my happiness. I'm about to date myself all over again - hehe :-) Just spending time to get to know my visions and goals and dreams again.  So I made a list of things I like to do and things that I'm good at.  Just to step back and come to the Lord with something to talk about when it comes to finding out my purpose and what I like.  Here it goes (it is long).

Things I like to do/Things I’m good at:

• Watch movies and critique them
• Give movie reviews to friends
• Ballroom dancing/dancing period
• Tutoring
• Classical music and to create scenes of movies in my head
• Musical Scores from movies – those people are so talented
• Love music – miss playing my flute
• To look pretty and to dress up
• Like to stroll and step
• Like to take baths
• Like to decorate when things aren’t cluttered
• Like to write when not under pressure
• Love nature walks (with no bugs)
• Love flowers
• Love hugs
• Love stilettos
• Love swimming
• Love kickboxing
• Love dresses over pants
• Love jewelry
• Love having my own spot
• Love barbecues
• LOVE LOVE LOVE the summer
• Love to stay up late and i mean LATE
• love to cook, except when people come over expecting it; whomp
• Love the sims 3
• Love heat
• Love French/Italian restaurants
• Love cheesecake
• love my friends
• Love anna
• Love my mom
• Love playing board games
• Love to preach/teach/counsel
• Love to relate movies to the word
• Love to relate the body/mind/soul relationship to the word
• Love to study the mind and why people tick
• Like studying medicine
• Like to talk
• Love quiet moments
• Shopping – I’m a girl
• I like thinking of outfit designs that would fit my body
• I like freedom of time
• I want to be a business owner
• I love huge huge houses/mansions
• I love the idea of fixing up an old mansion with acres and acres of land
• Love traveling
• Love clouds
• Love space – fascinates me on so many levels
• Love imagining my life as a show or never ending movie/story
• Love looking up at the stars on a summer night – no one seems to notice how beautiful the sky is
• Love smooth jazz music
• Love soul music
• love twitter and facebook - hehehe
• love the shows: House, Desperate Housewives, Project Runway

New Blog

Iv'e decided to start a new blog chronicalizing (is this a word?) my journey to med school, during, and right after . . . so it will be years and years in the making . . . oh wow, nervousness sets in

So I guess this one will just be for fun . . .

God, His Word, and Me

Instead of Me, Myself and I; I'm switching over to God, His Word, and Me. I'm about to get more real, more honest, and more human than I've ever been. I've always been kinda reserved and shy and not let out the true me, especially to people I don't know; but how can I tell people how it is, if I don't let out all of me and let them see me as genuine and actually caring for them and their needs.

So realness is here . . . and get ready for a new blog look. I kinda like the black but I'm changing up the name. It's a new year . . . a new year of change and re-arranging.

Can you hear me?

OMG . . . I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with my life anymore. All I've been doing for the last few days is praying out my purpose. I know the Lord is speaking . . . I just cannot hear Him. I am looking at my resume' and at my experience and I seem all over the place. I know where I am now is not where I am supposed to be because I am living under the Deut 28 curse and not the blessing.

It's time for a major shift. I am applying for jobs and still cannot find direction on where to go and what to apply for. I don't want to keep making mistakes and make a mess of my life. I'm only 24 years old. Too old to be acting stupid and too young to have to deal with this stress.

I know the Lord is speaking and I know He's saying, "Listen my child . . . can you hear me?" And I'm over here like . . . "um Lord, . . . no, I can't hear a thing!!!" I don't even know if I want a career! I just wanna do what He has called me to do. When I'm married, I'd like to stay home.

So I am putting up a prayer not only for myself but for those who do not know what they are called to do right now and who are frustrated in the place they are currently because they are not where the Lord called them to be.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome (Amplified Bible)