Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Random question to myself today . . . If I could be anywhere or be anyone today who and where would I be?

Answer: I'd be a successful business woman/stay at home wife married to a billionaire (I'd be making money from my businesses so I would not be a golddigger) and I'd have a huge production company and be a film star and producer.

Second question to myself . . . Why not?

Answer: again . . . why not?

I feel released to step out and do something things as far as my passion goes. So I will finally have some fun outside of my job. All I do these days is go to work, work out, go to sleep . . . and wake up and do it all over again. The working out keeps endorphins high and keeps me 'somewhat' fit (since I still don't eat right all the time) but it does make me look at my frame all the time. Some days you cannot tell me a thing because I think I am just too cute, and I have to watch it that I don't get vain. Other days I feel like a stick figure w/ my curvy butt but suuuuuper skinny arms and flat chest. Who gets two random different figures on top and bottom?!?!? God must be condoning me having larger boobs (hehehehe)

But anyways, I wanna spread my wings and touch the sky with R. Kelly. I really want my own place. Not a house yet, but a nice sized apartment . . . by myself. So I can kinda do my own thing. But first my income needs to reflect that. It makes me want to work harder so that I can afford to go off and find a place. Sigh . . . patience is a virtue.

I have church tonight, which I am so thankful for. That's my refill during the middle of the week. I love going to church. I don't have very many friends there yet but I know that will come. Alright, I'm off to get this word!

Speak no evil

Here I am back again. I actually woke up really really early and didn't fall asleep through my Bible study. That's a huge feat.

I'm really feeling how words have so much power. I don't think I'll speak unless I honestly have something good to say. I'll test it out for 2 weeks. And see how it goes. I don't like to gossip, but now I'm really cracking down.

I'll check back in on this.

As far as life goes, I really see I don't like the corporate world. I am not impressed. This whole career thing, really not me. Not saying it's bad to work, it's just not me. I still wanna do film of course, bit I'll determine when and where I want to work. Yes I wanna own business, but I want the option of walking away. When you just work for someone, you are stuck working because you need the money. This is not how I want it to be.