Superstar

The song 'Superstar' by Lupe Fiasco keeps playing in my head . . . I really wanna be a superstar. Not a superstar in the tabloids or on tv or on the red carpet persay (even though i'd love to have some feminine swagger walking down one) but I want to be a spiritual superstar. I want to help people. I want to be a superstar to my mate, if I ever have one, and a superstar to my kids (def. if I ever have them).

Well I'm off to being a superstar . . .

Painting

I am sitting in the middle of an empty room, on a wooden chair, deep in thought, leaning back, with a can of ever changing color paint at my feet and with a paintbrush in my hand

That describes how I am feeling right now . . . the walls around me are white and they represent my life. I have the power to paint my life as whatever I want, and it becomes that. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. I'm in the weirdest mood right now. I feel I'm in the perfect mood to blog because I'll have nothing but revelations and epiphany's to put down in this entry. I am feeling a little lonely these days. It's like I'm outside on a chilly day. I have a on a medium thickness sweater where the neck of it goes up to my mouth. My arms are wrapped around myself and I am looking thoughtful in the eye . . . (how's that sound :-))

I'm in a real reflective state right now . . . I actually wish I was painting right now. I don't know what I'd paint and honestly I don't know how to paint, but I think having a paintbrush in my hand would make it the easier. Just blogging doesn't seem to be working. Maybe it will work at the end. I know if I were editing a movie, it would make sense to be reflective. Then I could unleash all that out on the editing. It's a lot of work though. Very grueling . . . I don't know why I wanna go into this movie business after I am financially free. I know I want to minister the gospel through it, but it's such a hard industry!

I was sharing this with my friend the other day . . . this is exactly what I wrote
when i just closed my eyes. i was at the academy awards. sitting in a seat. with a man holding my hand as the whole audience waited to see who would be announced for best picture

it was so real

my hand was in my lap

i was wearing a gown

my feet were sweaty in my shoes of nervousness

and my head was as it would be at that time, in a state of 'who knows what will happen
i can feel the room

it's cold

well not freezing

the the air conditioning is def. on

it smells heavily of cologne and perfume

b/c of course, people wanna smell good

and people wanna cover up their sweat

When you (generic 'you') start having dreams like that . . . anything is possible :-)

History

Today . . . I just witnessed with my own eyes America voting for the first black president in the history of the United States of America. It didn't hit me until I was driving home from my friend's house and my eyes began to fill up with tears. Like I said before in a previous post, I don't cry. The emotion going through so many people right now is unbelievable. We never thought we'd see it in our lifetime, and here it has happened.

To all you haters out there . . . ha, I don't even care!!!