Saturday, November 22, 2008

Painting

I am sitting in the middle of an empty room, on a wooden chair, deep in thought, leaning back, with a can of ever changing color paint at my feet and with a paintbrush in my hand

That describes how I am feeling right now . . . the walls around me are white and they represent my life. I have the power to paint my life as whatever I want, and it becomes that. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. I'm in the weirdest mood right now. I feel I'm in the perfect mood to blog because I'll have nothing but revelations and epiphany's to put down in this entry. I am feeling a little lonely these days. It's like I'm outside on a chilly day. I have a on a medium thickness sweater where the neck of it goes up to my mouth. My arms are wrapped around myself and I am looking thoughtful in the eye . . . (how's that sound :-))

I'm in a real reflective state right now . . . I actually wish I was painting right now. I don't know what I'd paint and honestly I don't know how to paint, but I think having a paintbrush in my hand would make it the easier. Just blogging doesn't seem to be working. Maybe it will work at the end. I know if I were editing a movie, it would make sense to be reflective. Then I could unleash all that out on the editing. It's a lot of work though. Very grueling . . . I don't know why I wanna go into this movie business after I am financially free. I know I want to minister the gospel through it, but it's such a hard industry!

I was sharing this with my friend the other day . . . this is exactly what I wrote
when i just closed my eyes. i was at the academy awards. sitting in a seat. with a man holding my hand as the whole audience waited to see who would be announced for best picture

it was so real

my hand was in my lap

i was wearing a gown

my feet were sweaty in my shoes of nervousness

and my head was as it would be at that time, in a state of 'who knows what will happen

i can feel the room

it's cold

well not freezing

the the air conditioning is def. on

it smells heavily of cologne and perfume
b/c of course, people wanna smell good
and people wanna cover up their sweat

When you (generic 'you') start having dreams like that . . . anything is possible :-)

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